Depression and anxiety wreak havoc on us ADHDers. We know this. We’re sensitive and we take everything personally. It’s very easy to slip further and further into the ditch (depression) when the going gets tough. I was in the ditch for almost an entire decade, living in fight, flight, or freeze mode perpetually, and hoping I’d make it another day. I didn’t know how. My marriage was killing me. I don’t think I could have been more miserable.
It’s probably safe to say that I can’t be the only one who has felt a bit down, blue, pitiful, listless, lazy, frustrated, manic, depressed, angry, disappointed, hopeless, helpless (you get the idea) and just plain out-of-sorts.
One thing I’ve finally realized is this: Control what I can, and let go of the rest of it, because it’s going to bug me a *bit* too much if I try to fix what I simply cannot. I can do my part to work hard and contribute to society the very best I can, but past that (you can hear the song now I’m sure…) “Let it go…Let it go…!”
Which brings me to the whole PEOPLE thing. We need people. We need to be able to ask for help – and getting help from those we ask is important. It helps us build trust. Now, go to the other side of the fence and BE one of those people if someone needs something! It may not be much – perhaps just a friendly voice, a listening ear, a virtual hug, a few funny memes… This is what’s making the world go around right now. People. They’re important.
You know who your “people” are…they could be your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, or maybe your social media followers. Find those who can offer you support, love, and words of encouragement to get you through tough times. And BE THERE for them as well. Reach out more often. Check in. See how everyone is doing. Now is the time to build your community, because as mentioned…we need people.
When I was feeling at my absolute lowest I’ve ever felt in my entire life – during the NASTY, EVIL divorce from my now ex-husband, I mentioned to my friend Pam that I had never felt more alone in my entire life. A couple days later, there was a box the mail lady dropped off at my door. It was a care package from Pam. She sent me the sweetest things – self care things that made my entire decade. It meant so much, and I told her so. It’s the little things.
Send a care package to someone when they need it. You don’t have to spend a lot! Make some things and get other things at the dollar store!
Make someone smile today. Send a text, instant message, meme, call them, or do whatever you have to do to at least share a friendly word. They may need it…and you may, too. If you’re going through hell…keep going.
Recognizing depression before it gets too bad is key. Once it reaches a certain point, it’s much harder to climb back out of the hole. I know this. I lived in the hole during my entire marriage – and through the even worse divorce. Now…I’m going to pay it forward to those who stood by me through thick and thin. I’m so very thankful for the wonderful people in my life!
Read more on depression, as well as other comorbid dysfunctions that complicate ADHD even more. Knowledge is power.
