Hypersensitivity triggers are everywhere.
If you feel overly sensitive to EVERYTHING, don’t worry. I do, too.
Ever since I was a kid, I have longed for QUIET. This hypersensitivity to sound is a real thing. It’s the sheer intolerance or hatred of everyday sounds, such as someone chewing, slurping, yawning, or breathing – IF I’m not in the mood to deal with it. It’s also a little sister of ADHD, otherwise known as a comorbidity. A sidekick. Like ADHD, these little ball-and-chains are not something we can just “get over” if we ignore them. And the more we have to tolerate them…the more bitter and angry we get!
Although noise is my biggest nemesis (besides narcissism), I definitely have other dysfunctions just waiting for a turn, depending on my mood. I had NO IDEA this wasn’t normal until I learned I have ADHD! ADHDers of all ages hate waiting in line, cannot focus on details, and interrupt other people constantly! But this hypersensitivity thing is a whole other deal. Not everyone with ADHD struggles with multiple things, but here are a few common comorbid disorders – ALL of which I experience on a near daily basis, along with a few other common ones that ail others:
Noise: Misophonia
Loud or repetitive sounds, construction noise, or loud music I don’t care for can absolutely overwhelm me to the point of no return. This annoying audio intolerance hijacks all other sensory input to my brain – leaving whatever racket I’m dealing with…a hyperfocus nightmare straight from hell! It’s ALL I can think about. Where is the “OFF” switch?! A fly or mosquito buzzing around me while I’m trying to sleep…I might as well be sleeping on the runway at JFK! You’ll NEVER find me hitting the snooze button on an alarm clock (I don’t use alarms unless I HAVE to get up at a certain time to be somewhere), and don’t even get me started on the leaf blower guy that loiters outside my window (doing his job) every Monday and Wednesday. Let’s just say it has taken ALL the strength I have to not pile drive the dude like Hulk Hogan, strip his damn exhaust polluting blower out of his flailing hands, and throw it in the pool! The landscapers that maintain my complex…make me want to move – because I cannot shut off the racket. I’ve actually attempted to make my “weekends” be on Mondays and Wednesdays so I can do my long workouts just so I don’t have to be home! But unfortunately, that didn’t work well. My customers work on Mondays and Wednesdays…and they need stuff on those days. So I found (and still find) myself sitting at my computer, ready to snap. I blast Enya, drink relaxation tea, and I have my zen essential oils blowing full-strength out the diffuser on the shelf. Nothing works. Yeah…I’m going to have to move. Earplugs mean I can’t hear Enya. Or my phone. Or I’d have to be alone with my thoughts! That’s even worse!
Sleep apnea? GO GET SOME HELP! Other ADHDers complain about loud eating/chewing, or heavy breathing/snoring. These things can affect me as well, but irregular snoring while I’m trying to sleep is definitely brutal. If the lumberjack needs to snore, get in a rhythm at least! And if you can’t get that done…you need HELP! Like C-PAP divine intervention help. PLEASE MAKE AN APPOINTMENT for the sake of everyone who has to sleep within the same walls as you! Furthermore, you have no idea what you’re missing! The reality is…you haven’t been getting enough sleep! Years are getting ticked off your life the longer you wait. You cannot live without recharging your batteries and letting your body heal. It does all that while you sleep. If you have sleep apnea, you’re not getting quality sleep. You just think you are.
Multiple Conversations / Conflict
Going along the noise vein, I especially struggle with multiple people talking over each other at once. Two words: SENSORY OVERLOAD. Reality TV with people yelling at each other…you’ll find me either in fetal position under the kitchen table or looking for my coat so I can leave the scene of the crime! If I can stick it out, I’ll be nice and crabby. And like Dan + Shay sing…”I should probably go to bed.” I’m a total pacifist. I’m noticing the older I get…the less tolerant I get to noise and crowds. When I’ve had more than I can handle, I will do just that: go to bed. It’s just kinda sad when that’s at 4 pm.
I avoid conflict like the plague. This can be good and bad! I don’t want conflict, but avoiding it also means there is not much chance of it getting solved. The hard part for me is figuring out how to approach the situation without hurting someone else’s feelings. Which is why I play the avoidance card most of the time. My motto… “Avoid and ignore.”
Crowded Spaces / Social Situations
Speaking of crowds…being in crowded places with too many people can be a huge challenge for me and other ADHDers (and for people with Autism even more so). If it’s a concert or sporting event and I have a designated seat, I’ll probably do fine IF I enjoy the show. I need to stay entertained regardless. And I have been known to go to the bathroom and get toilet paper to bunch in my ears if it gets too loud for me. (My nifty ADHD makes me forget my earplugs like clockwork. Big surprise.)
No matter what I attend, when I get home, I’m going to need to regulate and decompress if I’m going to think about sleeping at some point. I always have fun at events, but it’ll take me a couple days to recharge my batteries after something like that – especially if I drink alcohol. One drink gives me a hangover these days!
Visual Clutter
Environments that are visually overwhelming or cluttered make me sweat. I can’t even stand to watch the show “Hoarders” much less exist or function in an environment like that! I can’t handle a messy or cluttered environment in my own home, and will procrastinate like a champ if there’s something I need to clean or organize instead of doing whatever less-desirable project it is that I “should” be doing. So if I’m going to get anything productive accomplished, I cannot have disorganization and clutter! My house…it’s organized, probably to a ridiculous fault. I know that about myself. This is from 48 years of adapting to all my “malfunctions” – when I was oblivious to the fact that ADHD is the reason why I have to keep a tight ship in the first place. You won’t find a fork in the sink, nor will you find my bills sitting out anywhere. Everything has its place! But do not white glove ANYTHING, because that test…will fail miserably. There’s a very big difference between “organized” and “sanitary”. “Sanitary” takes way more effort than I’ve got to give, so we’re going to stick with “organized”. I’m fine with that. It’s a battle I’m not going to pick.
Flickering or Bright Lights
When I used to work full time in an office, I always worked with the lights out because the flickering of the fluorescent bulbs gave me a headache and pretty much consumed my day with annoyances. Another example…there’s a fence on my running route. When the sun is in the perfect place, it’s like a strobe light when I run by with the flickering of the sun shining between the bars. I have to shield my face and sprint past it or I can feel the rush of anxiety coming on.
Tight or Uncomfortable Clothing
I HATE TIGHT! Wearing restrictive or clothing that doesn’t fit well has no hope of being worn. If it’s baggy, I’ll like it. My friends always joke around about my baggy pants and how I could really use a pair that fits. I don’t want them to fit any better! I used to be 60 pounds overweight. My butt and my thighs spilled up over into my muffin top for years as I sucked it in just to be sort of comfortable – and that was after I unbuttoned them. If my shirt was long enough, I might have unzipped them, too. I don’t have that problem anymore. I have precisely zero desire to jump off my house to get into my jeans. I’ll wear a belt.
Restrictive Items
Along with anything tight, I don’t like things on my head, including hats or sunglasses. Hats make my head and forehead itch like mad if I wear them too long and I find myself irritable with a headache and the hat/glasses missing. I have reading glasses, but they serve a vital purpose and are an absolute exception. Without them, I can’t see! I can see far away with no problem (for now). Sunglasses dim my view almost like depression takes away the light. I’ll pass. I know better than to buy expensive sunglasses. I’ll do my classic “leave behind Kim” move and leave them somewhere to never be found again. My eye doctor tries…fail. I’ll just have to have cataract surgery as many times as I need it! So far, so good.As for hats, if it’s cold, I’m a fan! Or if I look super cute in it. Ha – isn’t that like anything else? We all have to sacrifice for fashion sometimes.
Textures
If fabric isn’t feeling quite right on my skin, I need to change. It has to feel comfortable or it will consume me. One of my favorite shows was The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I loved the clothes, but I cringe thinking about all that wool! More like steel wool! Textures are definitely matters of contention – both with clothing/wearables and food/eating. I enjoy sushi, but I struggle with the texture of the raw fish in my mouth. I’ve worked hard to get past it, which certainly makes the meal way more enjoyable! I just have to focus on the flavor and not the texture. Same with avocados. LOVE the flavor but I don’t like the texture. ADHDers love a good challenge – and mine has been being open to trying things and having a paradigm shift when it comes to food. I love eating.
Strong Scents
Powerful odors from perfumes, cleaning products, or food can bring me to my knees. A friend of mine used to wear the perfume, Pleasures, by Este Lauder. I’m sure it’s a lovely scent, but it physically made me want to hurl. The second that stuff hit my nose, the wave of nausea would come on like a freight train. Opposite of scents I loathe, however, are scents I love. Driving pizza home in the car is like putting me in a torture chamber! Burger joints…oh Nelly! (Might help that I know what I’m going to get when I go in!) I love the smell of popcorn, coffee, vanilla, fresh flowers, and bread. Scents I cannot tolerate…I just need to avoid. But who wants to be surrounded by stink anyhow?!
Temperature Extremes
I do not do well with being too hot, especially now in the midst of menopausal hell, where I swear to you there’s a portal to directly underneath my bed. There is NOTHING I can do about it when I get too hot. There’s not much I can do past getting naked when it comes to heat. That lack of control is part of the problem. I need a switch. At least with cold, I can put on extra layers and bundle up until I feel regulated again. I grew up in Montana. Our old house had bad wiring and insulation. I had ice “growing” on my bedroom walls like mold, and if I needed to turn on the heater, I simply pounded the wall. I’d hear that satisfying “click” every time, although it only brought me minimal relief. If it’s cold, I won’t hesitate to add my sweatshirt and socks to my cozy bedtime apparel. Whatever it takes.
Stress / Interruptions
High levels of stress or anxiety, along with the black hole of the unknown, topped with wishy-washy plans that change every five minutes…and I’m back in my former marriage! Frequent interruptions while I’m working or concentrating quickly add to my frustration and stress level. It’s really hard to switch gears if I’m into something, OR if I really need to concentrate. Unexpected changes in plans or routines will drive me off the deep end and my ex-husband made sure I had a curve ball thrown at me every chance he got. I can fake a smile with the best of them. But I will hate every second of it.
Negative Feedback
Receiving criticism or negative feedback, particularly in a blunt manner is never good for an ADHDer. We take things VERY personally, and right or wrong DOES matter very much to us. There’s no “ignoring it.” When things are unfair, they’re REALLY unfair and that’s simply not OK. Do not get me started on either our legal or our healthcare systems! They couldn’t be more broken. They cater to whoever has the most money or barks the loudest! Read more about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) and Justice Sensitivity. You’ll be enlightened. Or maybe horrified.
Does any of this sound familiar? I know ADHDers can be hard to live with – and it seems like we’re on the brink of insanity most of the time. If you’re living with an ADHDer or someone who experiences one of more of these hypersensitivities, please be easy on them. Be empathetic. We need that the most.
